I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize