physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize