So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
