best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
