Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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