Where is the hickey?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
