haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
