Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
