This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
