so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
