So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
