Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
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I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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