You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
