what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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