I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
