I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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