A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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