glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
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He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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