There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
