yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
