I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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