I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
