if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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