I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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