She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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