You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
