I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
