at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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