Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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