Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
