Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize