I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize