Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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