mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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