i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
