your parents love me but you hate me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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