i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
