i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Drunk is not a location!
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