The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
