Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
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You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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