Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
