Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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