Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize