Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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