If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
