she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need to calm my uterus...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
