Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
