he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
