i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
