I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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