Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
