i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
