how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
