I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
